a mediocre dreamer

sarah han is freakin hilarious. she was my personal entertaining monkey for tonight. dance, monkey, dance!

on a more sour note, kwan is a weenie:

s URF cloud 9: i go shower
kwanshu: ok
Auto response from s URF cloud 9: I am away from my computer right now.
kwanshu: i thought i smelled something funky when you walked to the car.. hahaha
s URF cloud 9: >:o
kwanshu: haha
s URF cloud 9: you wanna die!
kwanshu: hahahaha
kwanshu: more empty threats
s URF cloud 9: jerk!
s URF cloud 9: that's so mean!

roy is a ddong face. not only does he read my blog instead of talk to me in person, he ONLY comes over when other ppl are here. apparently i'm not entertaining enough for him to spare his precious time. now i'm sure some of you may think that as students we don't always have the time to make our way over to a friend's appartment on the other side of town, but perhaps i can justify my point by saying i live in the same building! AND my door is right next to the one he takes to get to his own apt. he even has the audacity to tell me that i'm a bad host after he fails to make a subtle excuse for leaving. argh!

anyway, THANK YOU slum, elise, jahndee, sewon, basile, and jennifer for taking the time out to get our little project done. it's a pleasure working with y'all!

i forgot to pack a lunch today so i was famished by the time 2 o'clock rolled around, especially having been awake since 7am. thus, i decided to treat myself to a scrumptious oatmeal raisin cookie from pat brown's grill to hold me over till dinner. i was thoroughly enjoying every bite when i thought to myself "gee, if i eat only half now and save the rest for later, i'll be able to have dessert along with my dinner." A two-for-one deal that any sensible person would find a bargain, of course. so, i stowed it away in my backpack just as the time came for me to be a guinea pig for a psych experiment in tolman. i completed the half-hour session and packed up my things to wait for my GSI's office hours to begin. you see, there's a phenomena i'm learning in developmental psych called inhibition of choice, which is a part of every child's process of gaining an adult level of self-control. when presented with the dilemma of having one cookie now versus 2 cookies, say, in one hour, young children cannot pass up short-term gratification for a long-term goal.

case in point: i have the self-control of a 5 year old... and i have no dessert.

there's just something so soothing about the pitter patter of the rain.

i wonder if anyone has had an encounter with the man who stands on the corner of telegraph and durant holding a newpaper and shouting obscene things. he has a long beard and resembles the many other telegraph natives who are still sporting the fashion of the 60's. today was my day because i got shouted at 3 times from that very man and in each different occasion i wondered if he remembered the one we had moments before.

encounter #1-- me turning the corner to walk up durant. the man shouts at the top of his lungs "HEY! AREN'T YOU FROM THE BRADY BUNCH?!?" me with a puzzled look and a response of "no, i don't think so, sorry"

encounter #2-- me walking past king pin donuts. the man shouting sarcastically yet still at the top of his lungs "OH DON'T YOU LOOK SO CUTE WITH YOUR CAL UMBRELLA!" me with a frightened stare and a simple "thank you!"

encounter #3-- walking past that man screaming "CAN YOU ALL BE QUIET! CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE A PHONE CALL!"

i wonder what kind of stories that man has to tell. i wonder if he'd agree to sit and talk with me if i asked. i wonder if anyone would care to join me.

ppl must not underestimate carroll. he's the man of the hour for today.

bahzhang: i remember doing jane fonda workouts with my sister as a kid
bahzhang: i was VERY young
s URF cloud 9: aaaaaahahahahhaha... jane fonda?!?!?!!?
bahzhang: heh yup
bahzhang: 80s music and everything
s URF cloud 9: oh carroll, your true colors..
bahzhang: honey you don't know my colors yet
bahzhang: all you're getting is basic technicolor right now

and he does this, attitude neck movements and all, while programming with his fellow soda hall dreamboys during the wee hours of the night.

i like how roy chooses to read my blog instead of talk to me when i'm sitting in front of his face. need i convince you further of his stunning charm and unparalled social skills? who's jumping at the chance to get a piece of this monitor-lovin, keyboard-typing stud muffin?

*ooh! ooh!*

NOT ME.

1. david slum has been insulting me non-stop for the past few days. mark my words, i will match his wit very soon.
2. roy chung is a weenie. why?

linda: [some cute remark]
me: hahah, linda you're so cute i could just eat you up
roy: YOU WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING
me: *maddening glares*

he isn't the pale sweet ball of flesh that everyone thinks he is.

i'm learning more about ppl each day, which isn't necessarily always a good thing. i don't know why i'm surprised that God has proved Himself yet again in my life. He can take just about anything and show you the beauty in it. i've been immensely blessed these past few weeks from ppl i never would have expected and i'm so very grateful the opportunity to open myself up to unfamiliar territory. i've been stretched to many limits, and although painful at times, the lessons of humility i've learned have been inspiring. i realize that i shouldn't underestimate ppl. i've managed to see a side of ppl that i never knew existed, even those that i thought i had all figured out.. i was so very touched and even more humbled this weekend. thanks.

guess what? i woke up in a cold sweat this morning after having a terrifying nightmare. what happened? i dreamt i was put into a FAT INSTITUTION!! i just about cried myself into a stupor. and just now i go online to buy the cute wallet i was planning on getting, only to find it gone from the website! no "sold-out" sign, no indication of extra shipments coming in.. just vanished into an oblivion. oh yes, and i am doing this all from eug's computer. but why karen, you ask? why aren't i lounging in the comfort of my own apt? BECAUSE I LOCKED MYSELF OUT. so there i was a pitiful blob sitting in front of my door peeling an orange cuz i was dying of starvation. i sadly looked through my window to see the tv stand i had started to build prior to going grocery shopping, but needless to say there was nothing i could do. felt like a poor child staring into the glass windows of a candy store. BUT, this whole thing started because i was searching for this one candy ingredient for the dessert i'm making for small group tonight and i went to every store within a mile radius to no avail! berkeley bowl, safeway, walgreens, asuc store, rexall, andronico's... nothing. and my roomate decides that today of all days she will go to the library or something cuz she still isn't home and i'm still locked out. thankfully i have roy and eug's place to bum at for the time being.

today is =( i want my wallet. maybe this a sign that i AM supposed to get a burberry wallet. oh burberry, forgive me for trying to take the cheap way out.

worked out extra fiercely at the rsf due to my accumulated grumpiness of waiting an hour and a half for a stinkin precor machine. dang this overpopulated school filled with fat ppl. tomorrow's workout will be devoted to in-home ballet videos until i decide to forgive the rsf for making me wait. my abs are feeling tight which brings me more satisfaction than you can imagine.

by the way, thank you God for the amazing turn-out at the baja fresh fundraiser. may the ppl of north korea be shed some light despite their oppressive government. questions may linger on life's uncertainties but i'm glad we have You.

i love cards. browsing around a card store is one of my favorite past-times. i decided to take it up again. avant-card on bancroft was today's target. came up with two enlightening quotes of the day:

1. "Martinis! Lowering standards since 1927!" (meaning among men and women)
2. "Why get married and make one guy miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?" --Carrie Snow

my thoughts exactly.

had a great dinner with the some freshies. it makes me smile to see their vibrance. humbles me and reminds me of the simplicity of joy and love. thanks.

God is bigger than the bad days.

took a midterm yesterday after a sleepless night-- sucked terribly.

had a research writeup due today-- didn't even get there.

walked into french today. asked why everyone was studying. found out there was a quiz-- seething anger.

sitting in psych lab (horrid in itself). got back my midterm regrade. a whopping one point upgrade-- glares and steam out of ears.

french composition due tomorrow-- climax of the annoyance mountain.


case in point: stay away from me today.

enlightening thought of the day in honor of that special time of the month:

"i don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."
-an insightful comedian

(as cited by max)

so i'm studying for my statistical psych midterm and have been repeatedly offended by the male species.

don, on countless occassions, released his fecal particles as he farted unreservedly throughout the night
max said i looked like a penis gorilla. yes, that's right, a penis gorilla.

and my mom wonders WHY i don't wanna get married...