a mediocre dreamer

I've often underestimated the extent of Jesus' suffering. If God knew he was going to resurrect Him and bring Him to glory, could things have been that defeating? Today, my mom put it like this: we know that one day we'll be redeemed and in communion with God; does that negate the suffering we endure now?

... not a chance. I get it.



I need some inspiration.

there is a cute boy who works at the mac lab on mondays.
i do not normally use macs, nor do i particularly enjoy them.
for 1.5 hours on monday afternoons, however, i do.

it's always a merry monday in the mac lab.

bye bye free dry cleaning. it's the end of an era.

i want a pair of moccasins. moccasins with fur lining. with winter quickly approaching, i need a pair of fashionable utility boots that i can easily slip my feet into and that won't get destroyed in wet weather. should i just give in to my resistance against uggs?

hurray for scholarships. i can pay one more month of rent.

there are only a few more things i need and then it's time for the shopping bug to be exterminated: a big tote, basic black pumps for interviews, and a pair of jeans. believe me, the last one is not by choice. shopping for jeans is miserable. there's no denying the size of your body with them, unlike tops that allow for some flexibility. jeans are like the blunt and very candid friend you never had. they are the bearer of truth and bad news.

exactly one more month until i fly home with open arms. family, friends, and carne asada burritos. can't wait!

October

It's October again, the leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn’t I supposed to be someone
At least the things that I’ve been running from

Let me feel, I don’t care if I break down
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground, and if I
Cry a little, die a little, at least I know I’ve lived
Just a little

I've become much too good at being invincible
I'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool
But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be
I refuse to let my life roll over me

So let me feel, I don't care if I break down
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground, and if I
Cry a little, die a little, at least I know I've lived
Just a little

I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
Who can face the things that I've been running from

So let me feel, I don't care if I break down
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground, and if I
Cry a little, die a little, at least I know I've lived

It's October again, the leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all

I can't stand the turmoil of the twenties. Careers you're unsure about pursuing, friendships you thought you understood, duties and goals conflicted...

Whoever thought we'd be old and mature enough to handle these was vastly mistaken.

One of my favorite nurses at my externship told me she will soon be leaving our unit for a regular 9-5 desk job at a research company for clinical drug trials (she's not a day over 26), and do you know the first thing I felt?


...Envy.

Never mind emphysema

dan: i don't get people who smoke. it's so bad for them.
me: yeah, and it makes your teeth all yellow.
angie: i quite smoking because i'm vain.
me: haha! at least you're honest.

-- on Greene St., in between classes


Tommy is a funny guy

If I ever give a graduation speech, I'll probably say, "I'm very proud of you all," even though I don't really mean it.

When I buy VHS tapes, people usually ask, "hey, why do you buy VHS tapes?" I say, "This is why!" And then I throw it at them. I guess I can do that with a dvd also.

--a chalkboard sign outside of Think Coffee


My personal fav and new life motto

Eat all you want... you're already fat.

--courtesy of Rice to Riches

Find yours here.

My results:

1. Edgar Allen Poe
2. Vincent Van Gogh
3. Rudolph Valentino

Appropriately pensive and melancholic counterparts... hmph, go figure.