Friday, September 22, 2006
a constant battle
Papers
The thought of having to write one or anything else that comes remotely close to articulating my thoughts into coherent words - e.g. personal statements - gives me an instant anxiety attack. I do anything and everything on the computer besides it, hence, this post. Transcribing a conversation with a schizophrenic patient is impossible.
Pressure ulcer; Bedsore; Decubitus Ulcer
A pressure ulcer is an area of skin that breaks down when you stay in one position for too long without shifting your weight. This often happens if you use a wheelchair or you are bedridden, even for a short period of time (for example, after surgery or an injury). The constant pressure against the skin reduces the blood supply to that area, and the affected tissue dies.
A pressure ulcer starts as reddened skin but gets progressively worse, forming a blister, then an open sore, and finally a crater. The most common places for pressure ulcers are over bony prominences (bones close to the skin) like the elbow, heels, hips, ankles, shoulders, back, and the back of the head.
If you ever decide to become a nurse, you'll never hear the end of pressure ulcers. They are usually associated with the elderly and/or immobile, but I'm certain that were I to drop my pants and take a glance in the mirror, I would find the textbook redness to accompany the complete numbness in my arse after countless hours of sitting and NOT writing the papers I am supposed to be writing. How ironic would that be if I got a pressure ulcer from studying pressure ulcers. Ha.
My failing bodyI am not immortal. I usually get more frustrated at the pain than anything, but I have recently begun to wonder: If my wrists hurt this much at 23, will they end up contracted and totally non-functional later on? Will my deformed feet morph into those of my patients and leave others wondering, 'how did you ever let them get that way?' Will my poor posture leave me hunchbacked for good? OMG. Occupational therapy doesn't help and I don't have time to keep going back for referrals to my physical therapist. The American healthcare system is screwed up and I am a non-compliant patient. Is it wrong for me to want to check out before I am unable to do anything at full capacity?
A jog
I needed to clear my head. I supplemented the brief stint with a meager total of 70 crunches and now I'm dying. I am perpetually out of shape.
Yes, it's Friday night.
I don't feel like going out or doing anything, and yet I'm lonely. That combination always leaves an awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach. It doesn't help that my schedule screws with my head - school on Saturdays, working the night shift, lab one week and not the next... I can't seem to get it together. Crap.
